If you’ve already got your diamond ring, you may wanna hit the “back” button…
So, I’m cheap. If you know me at all, you know this is true. So of course when I started seeing coloured diamond engagement rings on my brides, I got to thinking: these yellows and blues and greens and pinks… how much extra did that cost? And wouldn’t a gemstone, like citrine, aquamarine, peridot, and morganite be more affordable? Well this lead me down a diamond-alternative rabbit hole and now I am OBSESSED with the concept. So I present to you, my beautiful alt-brides and alt-grooms….
54 Reasons NOT to Get a Brand Spankin’ New Diamond Engagement Ring
1. Because you don’t have the money.
2. Because debt isn’t sexy.
3. Because you would rather go on a trip / buy a car / throw a ridiculous wedding / put a down payment on a house / save for parental leave / get a puppy / build a deck / bathe in a tub full of twoonies / etc (that counts as 8 reasons)
12. Because it is the 21st century and women are no longer considered “tainted” after a breakup, nor are they incapable of earning an income, therefore they no longer need a diamond to sell for cash after a failed relationship.
16. Because, while diamonds have a hardness of 10, diamond look-alikes aren’t that far off: Moissanite (hardness of 9.25), White Sapphire (hardness of 9) and Cubic Zirconia (hardness of 8)
17. Because CZs have only got a bad rap because it’s easy to produce large quantities for a low price. They’re still pretty.
18. Because Kate Middleton got a Blue Sapphire engagement ring; it was Diana’s, and they’re both frickin princesses. You think you’re too good for two generations of princesses?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!
19. Because we’ve all fallen for a giant marketing scheme and that’s really sad.
20. Because nobody went to war over a Cubic Zirconia.
21. Because if your friends judge you for not having a “real” diamond, they’re not your “real” friends.
22. Because calling it a “fake” diamond is as sensible as calling a bike a “fake” car, or calling an apartment a “fake” house, or calling me a “fake” Jenna. It’s just another gorgeous jewel and it works hard to sparkle and shine so it deserves to be called by its real name, dammit!
23. Because the quality of your relationship and your worth as a human is not determined by the price tag on your engagement ring.
24. Because you wear that thing on your hand… ON YOUR HAND… EVERY DAY!!! You bang it into cars windows, and catch it on knitted sweaters, and stuff it into cookie dough, and drop it down the bathroom sink, and bend it while doing deadlifts, and OMG THAT POOR EXPENSIVE RING!
25. Because you wouldn’t walk around with $10,000 cash in your hand, would you?
26. Because, even if you had your heart set on a diamond, within a few days (if not by the end of this blog) your disappointed heart will realize how silly it was being.
27. Because if you lose/break your diamond ring you might die… at least on the inside. If you lose/break your White Sapphire ring, you’ll probably survive and can afford a replacement.
28. Because you don’t have to pay for extended warranties on $100 rings. (Honestly never understood extended warranties on $10,000 rings. We shouldn’t have to spend an extra $150 to make sure our $10,000 ring doesn’t break! If you can’t stand by your product, don’t sell it! Jeeze!)
29. Because when your super trendy ring is no longer in style, you can afford a new ring and not feel guilty about it.
30. Because when you renew your vows at your 5th, 20th, and 65th anniversaries, you can afford a new ring and not feel guilty about it.
31. Because pregnant fingers are bigger than non-pregnant fingers, even though pregnant women are just as married as non-pregnant women… so you can afford a new ring and not feel guilty about it!!
32. Because the dude’s ring will cost a fraction of the engagement ring and that’s just not fair.
33. Because the markup on diamonds is IN-*****-SANE!!! Some stores markup their diamonds 100%. That means you are paying DOUBLE what it’s worth!
34. Because previously-loved rings from Kijiji, thrift/antique stores, or pawn shops often charge a more reasonable amount.
35. Because stealing the diamonds from a used thrift-store ring and having a new ring custom made is both smart and romantic.
36. Because your great bubbie’s engagement ring is hella gorgeous and it will be oh-so-cherished for the rest of time.
37. Because, as long as your ring is made of pure gold / platinum / titanium / 925 sterling silver / stainless steel / silicone / etc., it won’t turn your finger green or make your skin smell. (If you’re shopping online, watch out for vermeil or plated jewelry! Do your research and read reviews!)
38. Because, if the entire world stopped paying stupid amounts for engagement rings, jewelry stores would start offering more affordable alternatives.
39. Because no matter what it’s appraised at, a diamond is only worth as much as someone is willing to pay for it.
40. Because a “Promise Ring” is marketed as cheap, immature, and temporary. So it makes you feel guilty about not spending more money on something mature (pfft) and permanent (*eye roll*). But really, if you remove marketing from the equation, a promise ring is just a more affordable engagement ring.
41. Because no matter what goes on that finger, you’re still getting married.
42. Because an engagement necklace / watch / t-shirt / painting / goldfish / kitten is just as cool.
48 – 53. Because there are many online stores that offer affordable, quality alternatives. Modern Gents Trading Co has Sterling Silver & Cubic Zirconia rings for both men and women. Enso has gorgeous silicone rings, and some even have a metallic finish. Kate Sparkle & Tinnivi use Sterling Silver and a variety of gemstones such as White Sapphires. Etsy shops like Oore and NyFineJewelry use pure gold, but offer different gemstones including the diamond-look-alike, Moissanite, and it’s ultra-femme BFF, Morganite. Jewlr offers a huuuuuge variety of stones, metals, and prices… they even have a Princess Meghan replica!!!
54. Because you could have Princess Meghan replica.